Your People

Recognize how you give love

Knowing how you prefer to express love and how your loved ones prefer receive your expressions of love can make your relationships run more smoothly.
Nurtures a Sense of


When your loved ones are not feeling appreciated, it might be because you are not expressing your love for them in their preferred “love language.” Learning about love languages can give you and your family the words to ask for what you need to feel connected and strong in your relationships.

This activity is based on Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, where he shares five general ways in which we all give and receive love.


Relationships—whether they’re between friends, a romantic couple, a parent and child, or with your coach—are strengthened when both parties are getting what they need. Being able to talk about love languages builds a good foundation to every relationship.


  1. Think of an important person in your life. Maybe it’s a friend that you want to strengthen your relationship with, or a loved one where your relationship needs a bit of work.

    If you completed activities to visualize your village or drew a family tree, you can also gather those resources to reflect on your most important relationships.
  2. Next, reflect on how this person expresses their love or appreciation to you.
    Do they write you kind notes? 

    Do they offer to help with a chore? 

    Do they compliment you?

    Reflect on how this person likes to be appreciated by you. What do they seem to ask for from you? This might show up as complaints in a relationship, like things you don’t do enough of.
    Do they want to spend more 1:1 time? 

    Do they feel like you say nice things to them?
  3. Now, review the five love languages worksheet provided and see how your reflections about this person match up to the categories. You may be starting to get a sense of what their love language might be. Remember, this activity is only your interpretation of their preferences.
  4. (Optional)

    Encourage your loved one to do the activity themselves and discuss what you each learned in order to strengthen your relationship.




10 mins



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Consider completing the companion activity  Recognize how you receive love before or after this activity.